I’m a fan of HBO’s hit comedy Silicon Valley even though I despise the actual Silicon Valley itself and its bullshit culture. Seriously you walk into a coffee shop and any random douchebag who probably doesn’t even work in tech will swear that they can’t go back to their hometown of bumfuck Idaho because they just love the tech culture here. Seriously.
Now I know that Bill Belichick would probably be the exact opposite of Jack Barker, but let’s not pretend like 5 Super Bowl victories doesn’t follow a formula. Yes, it’s the ‘Patriot way’. It’s self-explanatory if you think about it and you at least kinda watch football. They probably teach this in business school too.
Wes Welker, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola, Chris Hogan, and I’ll go ahead and count Gronk as a receiver for the sole purpose of making this fit the context of the white receiver. Randy Moss, Martellus Bennett, Michael Floyd, and probably a bunch of other guys I don’t remember make up the list of troubled talent that got straightened out by Bill Belichicks daily dose of angry face. Sprinkle in the San Mateo Quarterback mixed with some deflate gate, spy gate, and tuck rule. Maybe make sure Eli Manning is not around. Boom there goes your recipe for 5 Lombardi Trophies.
Also, rest of the NFL— can we fucking not give the Patriots any more stupid trades? At this rate, they’re walking right into the 6th trophy and we might as well just bend over for 16 weeks come September.