To the sad and depressed fan – Do not charge at your TV, that’s going to be another 700 bucks to replace your brand new 55 inch curved Samsung.
Yes your team choked, but that’s okay. Because if you’ve paid attention recently, that’s America.
Walk through the door to the group therapy session for hard chokers. Take a seat and look around. To the right are the Warriors, to the left Indians, and across from you sits Hillary Clinton. The group consists of experts with an uncanny skill of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s almost an art. You blew a 25 point lead. The game was as easy as Dorothy clicking her heels three times to go home as a champion. 30 other NFL teams were on your side and wanted you to take their energy to fight the three headed monster of Brady, Kraft and the Trumps.
You let us down, sweet prince Atlanta. Forget Matty Ice’s legacy and grab a Natty Ice to drown your sorrows. Erase that image of Julio’s tip toe sideline catch, because that’s the equivalent to finding out your wife is pregnant, only to find out during birth that the baby has a completely different shade of skin tone than yours.
In this day and age, choking big in professional sports is so common that your epic collapse is actually pretty forgettable. Let’s be real, the pain will probably only last a few months until the next big choke by the next unlucky team. Memberberries are staying in South Park. You’ll be safe from them, Atlanta.
Let’s just focus on the future, because that matters too, right Steve Sarkisian? You still have two amazing running backs, two amazing wide receivers, and a young growing defense that will only get better. You still have about 20 die-hard fans, loyally greeting you upon your return. Does anyone actually have fun at the Patriots parades anymore?
Just think about it, is the Super Bowl that important? (Yes.) But think about everything else that’s going on for your city. You guys have your own TV show, Migos are doing pretty good on music charts, and I guess Kyle Korver isn’t who we thought he was. It’s okay to start checking ESPN, SI, or whatever outlet you choose, because the combine and draft are coming up and the hawks will keep you occupied until OTAs and minicamps. And let’s not forget the Braves, lol.